Spiritual Concerns

One of the more prominent concerns of severely traumatized clients are the existential/spiritual questions their lives force them to face. Such issues as the problem of evil, grace, providence, the relevance and reality of God, faith, hope, forgiveness, etc., inevitably enter the therapeutic context. For many, some kind of resolution of these themes must be achieved before they can give themselves wholeheartedly to the therapeutic process. Similarly, therapists who would spend significant time and energy with this population run the risk of burnout or nihilism if they have not adequately dealt with these same concerns.

The struggle for healing with its attendant pain, disequilibrium and inevitable disillusionment with previously valued relationships and assumptions is more readily embraced if a coherent, realistic world view can be offered that sustains hope, meaning and a sense of connection to a benign ultimate reality. Although some may achieve resolution of their traumas and integration without addressing the spiritual/existential dimensions of life, many others will not. For those who do, these dimensions still need to be faced if life after therapy is to have meaning and depth.

In those instances in which a client has a strong belief system that can support the demands of therapy, so much the better. If, on the other hand, the client professes allegiance to a church known to be rigid, narrow or even foolish, and almost certainly detrimental to healing, it would be inappropriate for the therapist to confront or debate its teachings. Loss of rapport and alienation of the client are the most likely outcomes if such a debate should be engaged. Merely because someone professes a certain set of beliefs doesn’t necessarily mean much in practice. Trance logic, the ability to hold mutually contradictory points of view simultaneously, is commonplace in the world of personal theology. Despite professed beliefs, some clients’ lived theology is surprisingly subtle and supportive of the healing process.

Internal Work and most especially experiences fostered by Wisdom figures, will frequently occasion spontaneous shifts in client’s spiritual world view that will open up new possibilities for therapy. These sorts of internal events are far more persuasive than logic or discourse, and in no way threaten the empathic bond. When it becomes clear to me that a client’s beliefs are getting in the way of healing, my first option is to encourage the client to consult with Wisdom regarding the matter.

The greater challenge arises when client’s lives have been so tragic that they are demoralized and can only perceive ultimate reality as capricious or punitive. Most of this group have little interest in church or theology. They have learned through crushing disappointment that God does not answer the prayers of the innocent. However much they may have prayed or begged for help during the unfolding tragedy of their childhood, nothing changed. Often their sense of ultimate reality is an expression of negative transference from the principle abusers (i.e., putting onto God the anger, disappointment and expectation of further harm they felt toward the abusers).

This experientially based and deeply felt theology cannot be ignored in therapy. Central therapeutic concerns such as trust, hope, shame, despair, willingness to face pain or release defenses are all significantly impacted. Sometimes Wisdom figures can alter this point of view sufficiently for therapy to proceed. Often they cannot. It is at this point that the therapist must become engaged and begin to deal with spiritual issues head on. Referring these clients to a pastor or spiritual leader is usually not a very good option. Most of this group are alienated from the church and have difficulty trusting anyone. Even if the client could be persuaded to consult with a pastor, there is no predicting what the pastor may offer or how it may be heard. The client may feel intimidated by spiritual authority and not feel free to frankly express ungodly feelings or opinions. Most pastors are not very well equipped to deal with the problem of evil in concrete instances or the fact of unanswered prayers. Many find it hard to tolerate, much less draw out and encourage the expression of an anguished soul’s disillusionment and even rage at God and his spokesmen. Too often the pastor’s response will be compassionate, but stereotypical or innocuous, leaving the client feeling unheard and disappointed.

I believe both client and therapist are better off struggling with these concerns together. It is not necessary to have theological expertise in order to face intelligently some of life’s most serious questions,. Most clients simply want their questions to be taken seriously and need to sense that whatever response is offered comes from personal, lived experience.

The basic spiritual question for most clients is:

How can I believe that God is good or loving or even exists when there has been so much pointless suffering in my life and the lives of countless others?

My response is that I don’t think there is any way to reconcile our culture’s concept of God with the realities of human life. The innocent suffer as much or more than the wicked. Prayer for healing, rain, victory or whatever, seldom makes any difference beyond chance. On those occasions when prayer seems to have a discernible effect, especially regarding healing, it is probably a facet of the placebo effect or some paranormal interaction of one conscious entity upon another. Those who would point to an extraordinary miracle as evidence of divine action must be prepared to offer a credible explanation for the all too commonplace evidence for divine inaction. As far as I know there are no such explanations.

That God did not save you from the abuse is a statement about God, not you. To me the evidence seems conclusive. The all powerful, all knowing, all loving God is a figment of our theological imagination, the impossible hope of the perfect father/mother writ large.

I have, however, consistently observed a different sort of Divine presence. It seems to be universal, readily available, unconditionally loving, potent and rigorously committed to the embrace of reality as it is. With only a few exceptions almost all my clients have encountered this presence internally and most of them have grown to depend upon it as their principle source of guidance, psychic (and sometimes physical) healing, and meaning.

Those who build a strong connection with this inner presence tend to be sensitive to its presence in others and within creation itself. Although it clearly does not and cannot micromanage the flow of events, it participates with us in them and will provide direction, support and strength as we negotiate the course of our lives.

This is not a statement of faith. I see no point in giving assent to propositions merely because some spiritual authority proclaims them to be so. This is simply my experience.

The ultimate nature of this depth is a mystery. It is at least as incomprehensible as quantum physics. The ancient Chinese philosophy of Taoism as summarized in the Tao Te Ching comes closer to my experience than anything I’ve seen so far in describing the broad outlines of this mystery and man’s best response to it.

The principle of “Wu Wei” (no unnecessary action) describes how the Tao expresses itself and how man must act if he would align with the Tao. It has for many years been the guiding principle of my work. The process of surrender which I have found to be at the very heart of the transformational process is Wu Wei in Western culture.

Once it becomes clear that there is a purposeful benign depth within man, the therapist like the Taoist can dare to allow events to unfold according to their own inner rhythms; he acts by non-action (wu-wei) which is acting with, not against, the inner rhythm of things. (Chen, 1989)

Any attempt by the Ego or therapist to impose structure or function that is contrary to one’s own natural flow is worse than merely wasted effort. It is abusive and disconnects Ego from the source of truth and life.

Western dualism pits Ego against nature. Rational constructs and the technologies they spawn are considered necessary in order to tame nature. Without the exercise of systematic controls, nature is seen as at best indifferent and potentially malevolent. This includes human nature as well as nature in general.

Although some of our philosophers and spiritual thinkers have come to see the danger in this assumption, it seems still to be the guiding principle in psychotherapy. Protecting and strengthening the Ego (both client’s and therapist’s) and enhancing its capacity for manifesting control is considered to be the obvious and only appropriate outcome for psychotherapy.

I have found that the Taoist point of view leads to far more profound levels of healing. Even as Ego relinquishes control, the individual’s sense of potency, authenticity and meaningful connection to life blossoms. This happens best when the therapist himself lives it. Such a therapist is humble and respectful. welcoming of the natural flow of healing gifts, quick to respond to emergent new potentials and slow to impose anything except when critically necessary.

Like the Taoist, his goal is that nature be allowed its full expression. Even though there may be some naturally occurring defects that must be adjusted for, if possible, through medication, etc., the major thrust of therapy is focused on accessing and cooperating with internal healing resources so that the client’s unique self may come to the fore and blossom. Obviously, this stance is antiauthoritarian, individualistic, nonaggressive, antidogmatic, experiential and intuitive. It assumes that in matters of consequence the truth and the appropriate way to find wholeness are gifts that can only be discerned when purposes and theories are set aside in favor of emptying oneself so as to make room for the Great Mystery. This stance is not likely to win many converts in academia, organized religion, or among the proponents of the various cognitive, behavioral or strategic therapies. It certainly will not be welcomed by therapists who value their authority, status or control. Clients, on the other hand, flourish in this kind of therapeutic environment. As is probably apparent, the simplicity, flexibility, receptivity, and mental openness of the Inner Child is highly valued. The opinionated, rigid Ego is invited to become a student of the Divine Child. The feminine way is given precedence over masculine style. Preoccupation with connection and relationship, relative disinterest in aggression and hierarchical striving, as well as a predilection for intuitive knowing and delight in offering nurturance and service are all natural corollaries to a life that honors the child and expresses the Tao or Great Mystery. These qualities also provide the ideal context for this process to occur. The aggressive, rationalistic, control oriented interests of the masculine facilitate life and balance only when they are in the service of the feminine agenda.

Any genuine understanding of human reality and its healing requires an appreciation of these two very different ways in which humanity is expressed and their proper balance.