GIFTS, ROLES AND MASKS

Human self-expression is composed of three layers. Each layer is successively deeper, or closer to the Center. The Outermost layer is the level of masks. A mask is something put on that does not fit the flow of a person’s energy at that particular time. Although it may touch a genuine energy, it is discrepant with the person s real interest at the moment.

The capacity to put on a mask is necessary for social survival. For example, the people who come to my workshops have an implicit contract that I will present a certain amount of material over a certain length of time. If toward the end I would rather be someplace else, it would be inappropriate and unkind to say, Well folks, my interests have shifted and you are out of luck.” Everyone experiences times like this. Parents come across this situation time and again. Frequently, for the sake of their children’s welfare, parents put away what is their naturally flowing interest at the time in order to attend to their children’s needs. Hopefully, they will later pursue whatever it is that is genuinely of themselves. Masks tend to stifle spontaneity. At the same time, their moderate and appropriate use makes society possible, which in turn gives everyone the best possible opportunity to live out their gifts.

The second level is that of roles. Roles usually have systems of external supports and rewards that keep the individual’s creative energies within the accepted parameters defined by the role. For instance, an individual might have the gifts of intellectual curiosity, a capacity for putting ideas together, and a moderate amount of eloquence. Those gifts readily become enclosed within the role of teacher. In some ways, they are encouraged and developed within the framework of the teacher role. The role offers some reciprocal support for the gifts, but it also defines the range of expression given to the underlying gift. Every role involves expectations. These tend to take away some of the sharpness of the underlying creative energy. Inevitably a role limits the potential contained within the gifts.

The most profound layer is what might be entitled the level of gifts. At this level, the individual is a multifaceted mixture of unique abilities and energies that, with permission and some discipline, can flow out into life. Most people have many more gifts than are able to be contained within the set of roles they have nurtured throughout their lives. If a person suffers from the egocentric distortion of rigidity, he will probably remain unaware of most of his gifts and live a relatively colorless life. A flexible person has much freer access to his gifts. Although he may have been able to develop only a few gifts into well defined roles, the rest are readily available and may be expressed through hobbies or play.

Not all masks are life-giving, or supportive of the greater good. Sometimes, for survival, people feel called upon to wear masks that do not fit any of their known roles -- that are even alien from all of their gifts. Yet they put the alien mask on because they feel they must in order to survive.

For example, I suffer from a learning disability called dyscalculia, which means that I have extreme difficulty with mathematics. Suppose that, for some reason, I felt that I absolutely had to earn my living as an accountant. Perhaps my father was the president of a giant accounting firm, which had been in our family for five generations, and I was expected to eventually take over this domain, which was worth millions of dollars. If I refused, I might be disinherited or lose a great deal. Given this circumstance, I might convince myself that, because I would far rather be rich than not, I will force myself to become an accountant. That would be putting on a mask that is not rooted in any of my personal gifts. Not only would it feel burdensome, it would warp my being. It would create immense pain and disfigurement, just as if I had put on an iron mask that had a very different shape than my face, and then locked my face into it. To wear a mask that does not fit any part of oneself, for more than a brief period of time, is potentially a source of significant psychological and spiritual damage.

The above example may seem extreme, but a large number of people have followed just such a path. There are many who, because they have a family to support, take whatever job is available or pays the most money. The job may have nothing to do with their nature. By forcing themselves to fit into it, they are putting eight to ten hours a day into distorting their own nature. This is a crime against the True Self. The only time it should be done is when absolute survival is at stake. Living very meagerly and giving one’s best time to the expression of one’s central gifts would be a far more life-giving alternative.

The cultural assumption that the best job is the best paying or most convenient one, is simply untrue. The best job is the one in which a person’s heart flows. It is not just a job that fits one of the roles that one performs adequately in. That to which the majority of time and energy is dedicated ought to be that which is in tune with the majority of an individual’s personal energy, if at all possible. If not, he should do something that is reflective of at least a secondary potential. To use myself as an example again, if I were to be an accountant or an attorney, dealing with numbers, paperwork, etc., I would be completely out of the range of any of my genuine interests. If for some reason I could not be a therapist or teacher any longer, I would be better off, and more at peace, as a custodian. I could enjoy being a janitor. I like to make things neat and orderly and to serve people. My perfectionist streak would probably add a little dash to the job. This would be better for me than a high status job that was alien. In the process I would not lose touch with my nature, although it is not as central to my nature as what I am doing now. The search for wholeness must not be separated from the choice of a person’s life work.

An egocentric Ego is itself a destructive mask. It is a rigid, predictable, externally oriented, distorted expression of the True Self. Although it can cover itself over with other masks that make it more appealing or acceptable, this is the equivalent of covering a distortion with a lie.

However, it can be very dangerous to discard the masks that cover an egocentric Ego. I do not recommend that people discard these masks unless they are dedicated to turning toward their Internal World and drawing from the deep truth that goes far beyond the Ego. Otherwise, they may not have the strength to survive the process.

The exposure of a distorted Ego, without the protection of a socialized mask, may expose a person to insult and other forms of social injury. Additionally, if a person relinquishes the protection and structure of masks, he may become inflated by some polarized inner part, such as Anger. In such an instance he may think he is being true to himself as he proceeds to hurt other people. This is frequently what has happened when people justify unacceptable or antisocial behavior by saying, “I’ve got to be rne.” Unfortunately, they have connected with distorted fragments of themselves, instead of their True Self.

If such a person is unwilling to go through the discipline of inner searching -- journal keeping, Internal Work, meditation, and prayer -- then removing his masks will only tend to precipitate extreme and unbalanced behavior.

Ideally, individuals need to seek out a context in which they are free at least occasionally to simply be, without masks, even if what lies behind the mask is a crippled and socially repugnant Ego. If a person feels continually compelled to wear masks, never having the freedom to just be himself, he will inevitably lose himself. Healing cannot begin until one’s woundedness is experienced and accepted. An individual only knows himself through the experience of himself, and there is no way he is going to be able to experience himself unless he has a place where he can simply be who he is.

Most people face their personal truth best when they are with others who love and accept them unconditionally, beyond all the masks they wear. Genuine acceptance by such friends gives permission to be who one is. Without people -- or at least one person -- like this in one’s life, it is difficult indeed to get to know oneself.

In appendix A there is an Internal Journey to the Hall of Masks. The purpose of it is to help a person see all the life postures that he puts on and takes off. Sometimes people do things, or place themselves in situations that are alien to them, but they do not know it because they have become accustomed to it. This Journey will provide an opportunity for the person to explore each of the major masks and roles in his life. He may find that some fit far better than he had ever thought. Others, that he thought were second nature, only seem that way because he has gotten used to them, and in fact are ill-fitting and uncomfortable.

Even if a role is central, flowing out of a person’s deep, core energy, when it is the only self-expression a person permits himself, it will stifle peripheral energies which are necessary for balance.

Ideally, individuals are best off when they are defined by neither masks nor roles. Life is fullest when people are simply being themselves, spontaneously in touch with their true natures, and flowing in the moment according to the circumstance they are in.

In this Journey, at the end of the Hall of Masks, the person will encounter his True Self, which is simply a grown-up version of his Divine Child. Within the context of that encounter, the person asks his True Self to please show him what kind of lifestyle is most in keeping with his nature, so that he can at least get a glimmer of insight into the way of living that is truly best suited to him. It may be obvious, or it may come as a surprise. Either way, it is very important.